fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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