Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
