She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Randomize
