birth control should be required to get into college
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
