there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Randomize
