Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
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