So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
