In the future we'll all be gay
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Randomize
