My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
