I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
i think i have two assholes
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Randomize
