You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Someone came in the potted fern
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Randomize
