I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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