he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
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