Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize