I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
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