Sry I called you an 8
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
