3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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