your thong is hanging out like whoa
Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
