Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Randomize
