glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Never underestimate the power of titties
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
