I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
