Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I have aggressive nipples.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
