I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
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