After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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