I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
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