redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Randomize
