moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
