too bad you live with your parents still
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Randomize
