Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I will be naked everywhere
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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