New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
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