Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Randomize
