he shaved USA in his pubs
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
its liver damage thursday
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
