This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
