omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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