jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Randomize
