I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
