Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize