my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
