THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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