I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I could fuck to npr.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
