if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
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