Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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