Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
