Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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