She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
