God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
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