She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
