is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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