this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
You don't make any sense
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