Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
