there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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