Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Randomize
