First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Randomize
