we have officially lost it.
I hate all girls vehemently.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
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