Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
