Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
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